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Who's still around? (Forum Discussion ) by miri September 15, 2019, 01:01:25 pm
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Author Topic: (V)onkey Business and Diapers  (Read 13971 times)

Spectro

(V)onkey Business and Diapers
« on: October 29, 2007, 04:47:48 am »





So nowadays it seems there's a direct correlation between (V)'s growing pwnage and the number of no ob-monkeys (n-o-o-b, not n-e-w-b) who want to join. Of course (V) has never not pwned, but what I mean by "(V)'s growing pwnage" is that we're finally in a maturity stage called resilience. It's the point of no possible destruction. We're as ****ing rock solid as Bart's logger after visiting cartoonsex.com. And for those of you who don't know Bart, that's pretty damn solid. Think of our history as a graph, we start out great, then some key players leave and we hit a downer. But, despite all the tipsy topsy problems, we still somehow survive. Since then, all of us have stuck together real tight and fused into this entity that's way beyond the label of a 'clan' and in doing so, hit the pwn limit.

Diagram 1a:


Don't take it like I'm saying we're better than everyone and blahblah. We're just different as a team and a clan in a very very orgasmic.. I mean good.. way. Which is why it makes zero sense why some of these little n oob-monkey buggers think just posting a thread and PMing a member will get them in our atomic-pwnage-fused establishment. That's like knocking on the side of a ****ing redwood and asking to come in. What do you think's gonna happen dude, it's a rock ****ing solid tree. A door will magically spawn? You'd have much better luck winning the lottery.

But Spectro!! Does that mean I can never ever be in (V)?? Am I doomed to face eternity outside of the trusted arms of (V)?!
          The answer:
                No.Yum, purple.


The problem most n oobsicles run into when attempting to join a clan is that they're too stupid. No really, they're just too damn ignorant of how things work. They're still little LX babies, and haven't explored how things work. And you know what? They probably won't until somebody holds their hand, spells things out to them, and changes their diaper daily. Some people don't have time for feeding the baby. Some people like myself would rather teach the baby how to fish or something so he could get his own damn food.

The typical newbie, however, is a whole different story. A newbie is a baby who just wants to learn and seeks out people to teach them what they can't figure out themselves (which won't be a lot if they're smart cookies). The newbie will read forums, ask questions that haven't already been answered, and satisfy their inquisition by themselves with resources they've found. These are the kind of people who have a much better chance of getting in a clan. The smarter the little baby, and the less diapers we have to change, the more likely you can make it into a bigger clan like, oh say, (V).


So with no further a due, Spectro shall now spell out only this once EXACTLY what it takes to join (V) using complicated mathematic formulas and shit:

P(membership) = Possibility of becoming a (V) member
I = Intelligence of a prospective member [1-20]
Ma = Maturity and public composure of a prospective member [1-20]
T = Technological capability of a prospective member (can figure out how to use a forum board and use the damn edit button) [1-20]
Pwn = Amount of pwnage player achieves based on # of fair victories made in (V) servers (2 points awarded per win in Spectro's server) [1-20]
E = Entertainment factor provided by a prospective member in the form of wit and good jokes [1-20]
N = Number of mods/settings a prospective member shows exceptional abilities in [1-10]
S = Style points accredited to the player by a current (V) member(s) while in game [1-10]
A = Online activity and availability on an instant messenger or forum board by days on average [1-7]
Sx = Sexuality of a prospective member [If you're straight, divide by 40. If you're g ay, divide by 9999. If you're lesbian, divide by -4000]

P(membership) must be greater than or equal to 50 to submit for membership when:

P(membership) = ((I^2)+(Ma^2)+(T^2)+(E^2)+(Pwn^2)+(S*50)+(N*100)+((A+3)*50))/(Sx)

Yeah, that took a really really really long time to do. So once a poor soul manages to get his or her probability up to 50 or more, THEN you may make a new topic on our boards asking to be a member. No exceptions, since I'm a sadistic bastard and absolutely won't hesitate to intimidate a kid with a shitload of numbers. Honestly though, if you really go as far as to solve your own membership probability and the numbers are agreeable + above 50, major kudos go out to you.


And thats how the cookie crumbles.

« Last Edit: January 06, 2008, 05:53:59 am by Spectro »
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Purplehaze

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2007, 05:31:28 am »


That equation is epic. We're using that from now on for new members.
Logged

Ahmed

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2007, 05:36:33 am »
Of course (V) has never not pwned


three expression I did when I read that... ??? ::) :D. No offense :p
Logged
Learning about chemistry all day is more fun than anything... sorry LieroX.

Spectro

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2007, 06:12:04 am »
Of course (V) has never not pwned


three expression I did when I read that... ??? ::) :D. No offense :p

Doesn't mean we pwned harder than everyone else all the time. But thanks for that anyway..

You're an asshole. No offense :p:p
« Last Edit: October 29, 2007, 06:17:21 am by Spectro »
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Kunoichi

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2007, 06:17:46 am »
Hahahaha, nice pic Spectro. Can't stop laughing.
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Ahmed

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2007, 06:25:44 am »
Of course (V) has never not pwned


three expression I did when I read that... ??? ::) :D. No offense :p

Doesn't mean we pwned harder than everyone else all the time. But thanks for that anyway..

You're an asshole. No offense :p:p

I'm an asshole, because I don't think you pwn? Well consider me that then :).
Logged
Learning about chemistry all day is more fun than anything... sorry LieroX.

Asrack

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2007, 06:46:07 am »
If you look at the stats, the comment wasn't needed in the first place.
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Oxygen

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2007, 08:38:47 am »
I may not be a member of (V), but damn spectro, cn 1 j01n?!?!? OMGWASH!! LULL LULL LULL JJJJJ!!!

Quote
Some people don't have time for feeding the baby. Some people like myself would rather teach the baby how to fish or something so he could get his own damn food.
Or mine version. Give a man matches to light a fire and he's warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Spectro, amen brutha! I knew there was a reason I have erotic dreams about you.

Yes this post really was'nt at all fundemental, but damn you can't go past a topic like this and not post.
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SteelSide

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2007, 09:12:02 am »
I'm a lesbian dude. Can i join plis?
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Get yourselves to IRC asap, I'm lonely. (And please change nick from OpenLieroXor)

Desmond

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Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2007, 12:50:52 pm »
Wow! Golden equation  :). We definitely are going to use that now =D. Sexy post too.
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Spectro

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2007, 11:36:29 pm »
I'm a lesbian dude. Can i join plis?

Picture proof first.

Wander

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #11 on: November 01, 2007, 02:38:44 pm »
So with no further a due, Spectro shall now spell out only this once EXACTLY what it takes to join (V) using complicated mathematic formulas and shit:

P(membership) = Possibility of becoming a (V) member
I = Intelligence of a prospective member [1-20]
Ma = Maturity and public composure of a prospective member [1-20]
T = Technological capability of a prospective member (can figure out how to use a forum board and use the damn edit button) [1-20]
Pwn = Amount of pwnage player achieves based on # of fair victories made in (V) servers (2 points awarded per win in Spectro's server) [1-20]
E = Entertainment factor provided by a prospective member in the form of wit and good jokes [1-20]
N = Number of mods/settings a prospective member shows exceptional abilities in [1-10]
S = Style points accredited to the player by a current (V) member(s) while in game [1-10]
A = Online activity and availability on an instant messenger or forum board by days on average [1-7]
Sx = Sexuality of a prospective member [If you're straight, divide by 40. If you're straight, divide by 9999. If you're lesbian, divide by -4000]

P(membership) must be greater than or equal to 50 to submit for membership when:

P(membership) = ((I^2)+(Ma^2)+(T^2)+(E^2)+(Pwn^2)+(S*50)+(N*100)+((A+3)*50))/(Sx)

Yeah, that took a really really really long time to do. So once a poor soul manages to get his or her probability up to 50 or more, THEN you may make a new topic on our boards asking to be a member. No exceptions, since I'm a sadistic bastard and absolutely won't hesitate to intimidate a kid with a shitload of numbers. Honestly though, if you really go as far as to solve your own membership probability and the numbers are agreeable + above 50, major kudos go out to you.

I = 18 ;D
Ma = 18 ;D
T = 15 :D
Pwn = I can remember 6.. :(
E = 10
N = 5
S = 1  :'(
A = 7 ;D
Sx = 40 ;)

P(membership) = ((18^2)+(18^2)+(15^2)+(10^2)+(6^2)+(1*50)+(5*100)+((7+3)*50))/(40) = 77.95   > 50




Will be looking forward to my major kudos.

Purplehaze

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2007, 03:04:11 pm »
Nice Wander! Here you go:

Feel free to make your "I wanna join (V) plz" thread.  :)
Logged

Wander

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2007, 03:26:42 pm »
Thanks, yummy :)

At the moment im too lazy to press the "New thread" button. If anyone is interested in buying my rights to make one, any proper* bid will do. :)






*1E10 Credits minimum

>--Faisal-->

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2007, 10:20:00 pm »
that was awesome.

This clan is so cool. I frame my invitation. Thanks.

« Last Edit: November 01, 2007, 10:32:12 pm by >--Faisal--> »
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sharsh

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Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2007, 10:34:01 pm »
why didnt i get one of them :O haze i demand an invite
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Purplehaze

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #16 on: November 01, 2007, 10:35:58 pm »
Aha, I remember typing that.
Okay Sharsh, I'll send you one.
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Kunoichi

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #17 on: November 01, 2007, 10:39:02 pm »
Me too, me too!
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sharsh

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Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2007, 10:40:49 pm »
that was awesome.

This clan is so cool. I frame my invitation. Thanks.


faisal your invites got nothing on mine :O i got a hai nub wanna join V and 485k cred
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The MooSeR

Re: (V)onkey Business and Diapers
« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2007, 10:41:15 pm »
« Last Edit: November 01, 2007, 10:42:51 pm by Trauma »
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Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?
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